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Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Battling with Depression: Journal Entry 003

I don't know what I'm felling right now. 

I really don't know. It's vague. Am I sad? I don't know. 

It's more like, I don't want to do anything today. 

I don't feel like eating and It's not really me. I don't feel hunger. I didn't even eat rice today. 

I want to take my medications even if the doctors told me to stay off medications for a while. 

Based on my study plan, I have to study at 9:00 PM but my mind doesn't want to. 

My mind tells me to turn my lights off instead and lay in bed and maybe cry for I don't what reasons. 

Yesterday was like this too. I didn't eat that much. 

I am listening to Geiko's Sol at Luna. It's peaceful and calming. 

I feel a bit of hunger now but I don't want to eat. I just want to sleep. 

I want to cry. I want to cry myself to sleep tonight. 

My mind tells me to quit YF, like as in now. Quit. 

My mind tells me to self-harm but I know I shouldn't. 

Things are getting difficult again. 

I am talking to strangers, again. 

Yep, that negative coping that my counselor was trying to correct. 

My mind feels like it is floating in thin air. 

The song changed. No, actually I searched for it. Pusakalye's Kulimlim. 


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