YOU: ENTRY 005

Napagod na marahil ang mga salitang hiram para ipaliwanag ang tunay kong nararamdaman. Wala na akong maisip na mga salitang Ingles na siyang tutugma sa ating dalawa kaya't hayaan mo akong magsalaysay sa wikang kinamulatan nating dalawa.

Una sa lahat, Maligayang Kaarawan! Wala akong ideya kung paano mo pinalilipas ang araw mo ngayon pero isa lang ang sigurado ako, ikaw pa rin ang nais na uwian ng puso kong palaging napag-iiwanan. Kahit ano pang pilit kong pambabblock sa iyo sa Twitter, Facebook at maging sa mismong mobile phone, pilit pa rin akong gumagawa ng paraan para makibalita kung kumusta ka na o ano ng balita sa iyo.

Paulit-ulit kong pinanunuod ang trailer ng pelikulang "Finding You" na nilapatan pa ng musika mula sa Munimuni na may pamagat na  Sa Hindi Pag-alala. Hindi ko alam pero marahil ay nakikita ko ang sarili ko bilang bida sa naturang pelikula.

"All his life, he's been searching for his the one and I was there, all throughout his search.... He remembers all the things that took place in his life. Except for one thing, I was always here by his side." 

Gusto kong sumulat ng patungkol sa ating dalawa pero bumabalik lang ako dito, sa panonood ng trailer na to'. Hanggang dito nalang muna siguro, hanggang dito nalang. 

YOU: ENTRY 004

"Merry Christmas Bakla." 

At exactly 12:01 AM today, that's a message I received from you. You are the first person who greeted me. That was it. A plain greeting without any sweet message or cheesy lines because that is you; your personality; the straightforward you. 

Time check: 11:13 PM,

Date check: December 25, 2018

It's been 2 months since I wrote something about you and if you're going to look back on my previous post, it was about how grateful I am for having you as my bestfriend and you still are but the thing is, 2 days ago,  I started to romanticize everything about us. again. 

Okay na ako. That is what I'm telling myself because I know I was already okay about you being my bestfriend and not more than anything else. But 2 days ago, you came to visit me. A day before that, I was standing inside the train and was telling you through phone call that I am in Manila and if you have time, I'll pay my debt to you; your favorite Milk Tea and I can stop by at SM Manila. However, you don't have your classes that time so you stayed at home all day long that time.

You promised to visit me the next day because you keep on tooting your own horn that I missed you so much so you have to spend some time with me. I was glad hearing that you'll be the one who's visiting me without any special occasion at all or without any favor to ask. Then the next day, there you are, walking towards me in my house wearing comfortable clothes; you came all the way from Southern Metro Manila wearing  just a shirt, a short and slippers and came to my place. 

Date Checked: May 12, 2019

Yes, I was shocked too that  this thing I wrote for you has been sitting in my drafts for a long time. I tried to continue this writings but I couldn't and I wouldn't, because I can't force the feelings to show up again; that unfathomable thing in my heart  when I wrote this for you. Just like how I can't force that there's a tiny bit hope for the story of us to be aligned in the genre that I usually read in novels.